I am not the prettiest, stylish girl in the planet. I don’t even have the friendliest face. I don’t think that its my fault people around me somewhat get intimidated around me just because I don’t look friendly and approachable. As what people who really know me have said, I am “mataray and suplada” at first but they soon realize that I have their best interest at heart.
I don’t spend a lot on my clothes, shoes and accessories. Most of my earnings are used to pay my own bills, and provide for my family. The recent shopping I did was at a thrift shop, I spent P400 for 7 pieces of garments and the most expensive stuff that I bought was a new pair of Vans, and FYI, ’twas the very first pair that I own. I don’t splurge on clothes and shoes, but I do spend on food. I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not, I don’t pretend to have something that I do not have. So, howcome people see otherwise?? I know that I have a harsh mouth, and I’m sorry if what I have said gets to you, I am trying to change that but these incidents just keep on unleashing every harsh bone in my body.
I never tried to impress people of what I do, I do it for me because it makes me feel good about myself. I don’t ask people to praise me, or even ask them to notice. I dress the way I do because I like it, plus there’s no law prohibiting to dress up right?? I am not the shirt-pants-sneakers type of girl most of the time. I love dressing up, but I don’t do it to put on a show, or compete with the girls around me, to put it in perspective, I just want to.
They say that I want to acquire a lot of things, and say that I shouldn’t, since I don’t have the capacity to get them. They say that I’m being someone that I am not. Well, let’s start by enumerating the things I want:
First, I want to have my own house, and drive my own car. Well, who wouldn’t?? Its every man’s dream to own those and its mine too. Second, the gadgets that I want, since I can’t save a lot and my extra money goes to my family in case of emergencies, I look at it as an inspiration to save more and be more thrifty.
Yes, I do envy people who have them at times, but I don’t let it eat me, I get over it. I don’t use people at my expense so I could have the grandeur that these people think that I portray. I don’t even think that I live in grandeur. I don’t lie about the brands I wear, and where I bought them. I am very transparent with everything so people won’t say that I am a social climber, but then, there would always be people who will think very wrongly about someone.
I am not the most expressive, vocal and affectionate person alive. I love my friends and everyone that’s dear to me a lot. Though most of the time they don’t know it because I don’t tell them that I love them. I believe in the clichè “Action speaks louder than words”. I don’t say I love you to my parents a lot, but they know I do because they are aware of the sacrifices that I do to help them. I give my friends my 100% support, because I always have their best interest at heart. If something good happened to you, then I’m very happy. I don’t actively show it, but I mean it. I never left anyone hanging, I help them for as long as I can. Lastly, I don’t envy on a friend’s good fortune, that would just be so selfish if do, which is I’m not.
Its quite funny how people say that I have changed. Maybe I did, but not on the level that they think I did. When I come to think of it, is it me who changed, or them?
It really puzzles me how they have assumed these things about me. The lot haven’t seen me for almost 2 years now because of school and my early morning shift at work. I don’t even start to talk about them, since they don’t really interest me and I don’t give a damn about what they do. I have this mantra not to meddle with what other people do so that they don’t mess with my business. But some people really need to poke their noses into my business; their reasons? I don’t really have any idea.
I admit, this life that I’m living is not how I envisioned it to be, but I still live it. I am trying to fight all the obstacles that I come across. I will live my life the way I want to. I won’t live it to meet other people’s expectations. If you don’t like what you see, then its not on me anymore. Its my life and I am the boss of me.
This is my testament, my answer to all of you who think so low of me, and so quick to judge me. So, I smile sweetly and I raise my middle finger to you people, and tell you, MIND YOUR OWN F*CKING BUSINESS!!!!